Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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