I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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