yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
