yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
