Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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