Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
