why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
