Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
