just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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