Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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