Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
