..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We left the knife in your bed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
