youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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