around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
