so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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