i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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