it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
