I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
