Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
