it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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