i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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