Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Send help, water and tortillas.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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