Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
