Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize