No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
