I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
