ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
