I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
