My friends, they love my intelligence
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
