It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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