just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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