Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
