Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
