Well douche your snatch and let's go!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you win again, gameday.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
