WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
