so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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