pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
