my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
