Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
