so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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