im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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