No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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