Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
