Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
