Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She said her name was "party"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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