oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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