Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She said her name was "party"
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
