in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
