Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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