saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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