Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
