I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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