i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
