Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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