Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
