i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
