I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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