you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
