Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
