Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
