Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize