i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The chlamydia really affected his face.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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