You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
