I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
