"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
