Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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