i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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