Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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