ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
