Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
