i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
